I also spotted this memoriam on the wall (hint: check out his name!)
Also, the Manic Monday Linky Party is still on so go link up a project or two!
***This concludes the WTF? Wednesday part of the post - what follows is a more personal one, so if you don't care or want to know, you can head off now :)***
I don't know how many of you know this, but I'm an American living in the UK. I came over here to be with Buzz, who truly is the better half of me, except he's got a penis. When I moved over here, I left my 3 year old daughter behind in a joint custody arrangement that I was never happy with. Basically a combination of bad legal advice and bipolar mania and sheer stupidity caused me to give my daughter up for 7 years - I saw her loads, but she went to school in the States, etc.
Then some shit happened and now she's here full time - school and everything. Finally, finally, I have my family back. I'm really fortunate in that Buzz makes enough money that I can stay home and sew, and generally run the household and be available for Savi whenever she needs me. (Though I need to get some employment so we can move out of our cramped house...)
But being an expatriate has a down side - I'm different. I sound different and I act differently. I make friends differently. So I don't have many friends. I have a few, but not the kind who won't mind if you call round unnannounced and ask them to go shopping with you. Not the kind I'd discuss real problems with. I genuinely get the feeling that they're not really interested - and most people have enough of their own shit to deal with, so I understand. And I don't know very many people who sew - one or two here and there, but not really active sewists. Certainly not anyone I hang out with regularly (which is often no one!).
That's where the blog comes in. I started this blog as a way to connect with people who liked crafts and sewing as much as I do. I literally sew every day except the weekends (I usually take weekends off for family time), so a lot of my life is wrapped up in sewing. And I have met some really amazing women through this blog, and sometimes I can't believe how creative people can be. I really love having the blog.
Sometimes it feels like the only people who understand this drive to create are you guys - a bunch of people I've never even really met. And sometimes I look at someone's blog and patterns and tutorials and zillions of followers, and I think: 'Well, shit, I'm never going to be that good. Maybe I should throw in the towel.'
Do you guys do this too? I can't be the only one, right? I guess sometimes I'm excited to do more work, more tutorials, and get more followers and share more adventures on the blog. But sometimes I feel like I'm one small person screaming "Listen to me! I'm interesting" in a sea of people who actually are interesting and who can shout way louder than I can.
I'm not asking for pity or anything like that. I just needed to get that out, and I really hope I'm not the only one - I don't usually get jealous about anything! Maybe I just need to do some more mindfulness exercises and stick to my new Weight Watchers diet and work on quilts, and shut the hell up, eh?
Yep, I know what you mean about the blog. Sometimes I think I should stop writing & spend that time crafting or reading other people's amazing blogs. But in the end I like being able to share my projects with people who appreciate them and being a part of this whole "blogging thing".
ReplyDeleteActually, I was thinking about this the other day and came to the opposite conclusion. I was thinking it must be awful to *have* to blog. To feel obliged to do it because you have hundreds - thousands - of followers who expect you to blog.
ReplyDeleteI decided that I blog for me. Selfish? Absolutely.
I took off my followers list because I'm not blogging for them. I blog for me.
I took off the feedjit feed because it doesn't matter where people are. I'm not writing my blog for them. I'm writing it for me.
I bet that sounds so rude and maybe even arrogant - I hope not. I blog for me. When I feel like it. About whatever I want. And I love it.
I also love reading other people's blogs but I'm not a good commenter. In fact, I very rarely do it so I hope you feel honoured! ;o) Part of the reason I don't comment is because I don't want to be one of the hundreds/thousands. I am not a follower - I only follow my daughters' blogs and they're rubbish at blogging!
Sorry about the essay. Another reason I don't comment often is that I talk too much! :oD
Well I learned a lot today and not about sewing, or sewing in a round about way. I love your blog and I love how you support other bloggers just because you like to. I think it's nice to do something because you like it. I'm not a big fan of facebook (there I said it), so I love to see what other sewers are doing out in the blogasphere (if that even is a word). Keep your chin up, keep blogging and sewing and creating and being you.
ReplyDeleteKeep blogging! It's fun! Ultimately I blog because I enjoy it, but I wouldn't mind having more followers either, so I think i know how you feel. It's great to connect with people you have lots in common with. I'm almost as rubbish at making friends online as I am in person though. lol
ReplyDeleteI just moved across Canada and I feel out of place, so I can just imagine how you must feel in a totally different country!
You have nearly 100 followers, that's LOADS!! Especially when you consider there's probably at least half that many again who read you but don't 'follow' you, lots of my friends read my blog but aren't up with the whole blog-roll, google follower thing, they just have me bookmarked and check from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI think maybe you need to decide what it is that makes you want to blog. If it's just as a personal, journaling your craftiness type thing then it doesn't matter who follows you or not. If it's more of a business thing, to drive people to your shop and increase your online presence then maybe you need to look at how you're marketing yourself and try different ways to increase your readership. I'm sure you do it already but things like commenting on other blogs, hosting giveaways, promoting yourself on other sites (e.g. the Etsy forums, Creating the Hive, facebook, twitter, flickr), listing more in your Etsy shop, doing 'real life' craft fairs etc. Maybe if you want to meet more real life craft folks you could try a knitting group or taking a sewing class? Or you could maybe looking into running a sewing class, your tutorials are brilliant, maybe start off with a small group of friends to trial it and if you get positive feedback, look into running a small class where people pay to come.
You have a lovely blog and are very inspiring, just keep at it I say and screw the rest!
97 follower's is loads, it has taken me ages to get to 22!, I blog to share my interests and feeling's. I am lucky that I made friends through work, but outside of that I have very few. Sometimes I get paranoid that my blogs are to repetitive and not interesting. there are not enough crafts, ( Idont have enough time to craft)
ReplyDeletekeep at it they make me smile!
Hi Jenna!
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I started blogging it was just a way to hold myself accountable for my projects, and to make a few friends along the way. But now it is more of a way to show what this whole art community can do. And I never cease to be amazed.
I understand the personal friend thing. Believe it or not, I'm not very outgoing in real life. Most folks would be surprised. But the great thing about the internet is that you can actually connect with folks that you would never have the chance to meet with in real life.
And to me, that make blogging worth the effort.
suzy
PS- LOVE your quilts!!!
I think we all feel this way about blogging sometimes -- the throwing in the towel bit, I mean. I get very intimidated, especially when I see people who have only been blogging a few months longer than I and yet seem so professional and put together. Mine is a slap-dash approach to blogging. Then I remember that I am blogging as a personal release and as a commitment to myself to work on intentionality, so who the *&^% cares? This is for me. But I like meeting new bloggers and I get so much encouragement and inspiration from BlogFriends. It's funny how this can make the world seem smaller, cozier.
ReplyDeleteBasically what I think I want to say is this: no worries, BlogFriend, we hear you and we like you. At least I do. And I'm pretty sure others do, too. :-)
I can shed a bit of light on why he had the second name 'posthumous'--it means he was born after his father died. It was the done thing in polite Victorian society. :- ) (All these useless facts I have swimming round in my brain, no?)
ReplyDeleteHazle